Edo Olympics!
by poakkis
Summary: ...I apologise to all of the people who love Olympics -.-"


**...this sucks. It's so frustrating! I had this reeeeally awesome plot idea, but when I started to write it went poof and vanished...and didn't even leave a cookie behind! So cruel T.T**

**Anyways, even though it's short and no good at all, please read and leave a comment. I would appreciate constructive critism (or w/e it's called...)**

**Disclaimer: Nope, I'm not Hideaki Sorachi and so do not own Gintama  
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**The most important thing isn't winning, but the complete humiliation of your opponent!**

"We shall now commence the first annual Edo Olympics sports event! Welcome, ladies and gentlemen! The sponsors are..."

"Gin-chan, isn't this so awesome?! There're so many people here!" Kagura smiled excitedly and tried to look at everything.

Gin hit her head. "We're not here to play around, go to the daycare center if you want to have fun!"

"Gin-san, I understand that we need money" Shinpachi calmly said before blowing up. "BUT WHY ARE WE TAKING PART IN THIS?!" he yelled and pointed at their number tags.

"Shinpachi, you shouldn't be so picky. Didn't you hear about the price money? It's huge, I tell you, huge!" Gin said and pulled Kagura back before she ran off again.

"That's right, you should go home if you're a chicken, Shinpachi" Kagura added. "We don't need people who wet their pants upon seeing their opponent."

"Who is our opponent, anyway?" Gin asked, almost interested. Keyword being 'almost'.

"What the hell are you bastards doing here?"

The trio turned around and came face to face with our very favourite protectors of Edo, clad in sports clothes.

"WHY ARE YOU HERE?!" the three yelled and pointed at the small group.

The small group, aka Gorilla, Mayora, Sadist and Badminton-guy, stared right back at them. "That's our line! And we asked first!" Hijikata snapped.

"Don't waste your energy, Toushi" Kondou warned. Not really listening, Hijikata continued: "Too bad for you, but we can't afford to lose face here. We will beat you in whatever you participate in!"

"If you're so confident, then how about having a bet?" Gin challenged.

"Bring it on!"

"The side to lose has to do anything the winning side says!"

"Fine!"

"But it isn't fair, since you have four people" Shinpachi pointed out. _And that's so childish! You're supposed to be adults!_ But of course he didn't say that out loud. They would've killed him.

Kagura swiftly went and knocked Kondou unconscious. "Now we're even in numbers. Problem solved."

"IS THAT ANY WAY TO SOLVE A PROBLEM?!" Shinpachi yelled. "KONDOU-SAN, HANG IN THERE! DON'T GO INTO THE LIGHT!"

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**First challenge: 100m dash**

"Kagura should do this, she's fast" Gin said and pushed Kagura to the start line.

"Leave it to me, Gin-chan, I'll be sure to win!"

"Not going to happen, China."

Kagura glared at her opponent, who simply smirked back.

"I won't lose to you."

"We'll see about that."

The two most dangerous beings in all of Edo glared at each other and the murderous aura around them made all the other contestants run away in fear. Poor souls...

"Get ready!" a random guy yelled and the two sprinters got into position, not breaking eye contact at all.

"Set!"

Still glaring at each other.

"GO!"

But instead of running forward, they jumped on each other and started a brawl.

"What are you two doing?!" the random guy cried out. "You're supposed to run! Please stop fighting and start running!" he pleaded and went to separate the two.

What an idiot.

Five seconds later he was carried away by the paramedics and the people in charge decided to cancel the 100m dash, seeing as the only remaining contestants didn't look like they were about to stop their fight anytime soon.

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**Second challenge: javelin**

"Okay, I'll take this one" Gin said and stepped forward to accept his javelin.

"Seems like we're destined to have a duel where ever we go" Hijikata growled as he glanced at the other man.

" You won't be able to beat me, I was the best when I was younger" Gin bragged.

"I wouldn't be so sure. I was the champion when Shinsengumi held their own sports tournament" Hijikata smirked as he got ready to throw.

"Well, knowing Shinsengumi, that's not so impressive."

The next second Gin had to jump back in order to dodge the javelin speeding towards him. It landed a little to his right.

"Oops, looks like I missed the target" Hijikata said and turned to walk away. He was lucky enough when the javelin thrown at him missed his leg by an inch.

"Ooops, looks like I'm a bit off, too" Gin grinned.

"You wanna go at it, eh?"

"Bring it on!"

As the two of them engaged in a fiery fight involving javelins, hair-pulling and biting, the judges cried in despair: "What is wrong with them?!"

So, due to all the confusion and chaos caused, the javelin was also canceled.

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**The final challenge: badminton**

"When did they decide to add badminton...?" Shinpachi wondered as he shook hands with his opponent, Yamazaki.

"Right now I think, since the outer courts can't be used at all. Something about fights breaking out" Yamazaki explained.

"...I think I know who are behind that..."

"Yeah. Let's have a good match!"

"Sure!"

And because these two are in such good terms with each other, they simply played badminton. No cheating, no sabotaging, just plain badminton. And it seemed like all was well on earth...that is, until the wall crashed down on them.

Amidst the dust and destruction, two figures could be seen. Two young persons throwing punches and kicks at each other, their war cries echoing in the air. Soon enough two people rolled over the remains of the wall, yelling curses and having an all-out cat-fight. To add to the chaos, the people inside were panicking and running around trying to find their way out. They didn't even think about running away through the biiiiig hole the wall left behind. No, they were all trying to get out through the doorway. Stupid Edo-people.

And so, since none of the matches could be actually finished, they decided to end the first and last annual Edo Olympics sports event.

"...really, what was the point in coming...?"

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**...seriously, what was I thinking when I volunteered to write the Olympics fic...I must've been high on something -.-**


End file.
